Intro
Oh, America—
We need to have a little chat.
Put down the flag.
No, not *that* flag.
Oh, bloody hell—
Sit down.
Verse
Everybody hates America,
We read it every day,
From a phone designed in California
That was built half a world away.
We hate your billionaires in rockets,
We hate your movie stars,
We hate your presidents and preachers
While we’re copying who they are.
You turned anger into content,
Made a franchise out of fear,
Put the end of civilization
Between an advert and a beer.
And the whole world points a finger,
Says, “Look what they’ve become!”
Then goes home and elects a knock-off
‘Cause the original looked fun.
Pre-Chorus
Oh, say, can you see—
From the cheap seats overseas?
You’re the car crash everybody hates…
But nobody wants to leave.
Chours
EVERYBODY HATES AMERICA!
Till the Wi-Fi goes down.
Everybody hates America
Till their favourite show’s not around.
We say you’re loud, you’re mad, you’re dangerous,
You’re vulgar, vain and proud—
But when America catches fire
The whole damn world gathers ’round.
HATE! HATE! HATE! AMERICA!
Turn it up!
HATE! HATE! HATE! AMERICA!
We can’t get enough!
Verse
You got freedom sold in family packs,
Democracy on ice,
A twenty-four-hour outrage channel
Telling everybody who’s nice.
Left screams “Fascist!”
Right screams “Commie!”
Everybody sells a shirt.
There’s a sponsored link beneath the revolution
And free delivery with the hurt.
Meanwhile Moscow’s feeling righteous,
Beijing says, “Behave,”
London’s selling off the furniture,
Europe’s forming a committee
To discuss the proper way
To watch the bloody house cave in
And issue a communiqué.
Pre-Chorus
Oh, say, can you see—
What you’re exporting overseas?
Not Coca-Cola, rock ‘n’ roll…
It’s everybody’s enemies.
Chours
EVERYBODY HATES AMERICA!
Till the Wi-Fi goes down.
Everybody hates America
Till the circus leaves their town.
We say you’re crude, corrupt, ridiculous,
Too rich, too broke, too loud—
But when America loses its mind
The whole damn world’s in the crowd.
HATE! HATE! HATE! AMERICA!
Give us more!
HATE! HATE! HATE! AMERICA!
What’s the outrage for?
Bridge
But here’s the bit that isn’t funny.
There’s a kid in Ohio working two jobs,
A mother counting change.
A farmer watching weather
That doesn’t act the same.
There’s a nurse asleep at breakfast,
There’s a soldier asking why,
There’s a teacher buying pencils
While another rocket owns the sky.
And none of them were invited
When the powerful drew the map.
So maybe it’s not America—
…
Maybe it’s the bastards at the top
Convincing all of us
To blame the bastards at the bottom.
So here’s to the Russians!
Here’s to the Yanks!
Here’s to the Chinese
And multinational banks!
Here’s to the borders!
Here’s to the walls!
Here’s to the algorithms
That know what makes us brawl!
Here’s to the Left!
Here’s to the Right!
Two angry drunks in the same bar
Arguing who started the fight!
WHO STARTED THE FIGHT?
Who cares?
WHO STARTED THE FIGHT?
They’re selling tickets outside!
Chours
EVERYBODY HATES AMERICA!
But everybody wants the show.
Everybody blames America
For teaching us what we already know:
Give frightened people someone to hate,
Give lonely people a crowd,
Give angry people a microphone—
AND TURN THE BASTARD LOUD!
America hates itself,
The rich blame poor, the poor blame poor,
While the rich acquire the shelf.
And if you’re laughing at America,
Here’s something to think about:
America may be the mirror, mate—
…
You sure you want the lights turned out?
Outro
Everybody hates America…
WE LOVE TO HATE!
Everybody hates America…
WE STAY UP LATE!
Everybody hates America…
But if the whole thing goes down—
WHO’S GONNA STREAM THE MELTDOWN NOW?
Good night, America.
And good luck to the rest of us.
